Analysis of The Leaving



You are one who has known darkness and pain.
You have felt the heavy burdens of grief -
grief caused by others seeking selfish gain.
You have stepped out with pride but stepped back – cried,
your tears falling unnoticed in the rain.

You are one who has understood sadness.
You’ve seen Stars’ poignant laughter mocking you –
you, who has nothing to be ashamed of,
yet bearing shame and loathing all the same.
Shy tears you still cry in nights of falling rain.

You have stood still and listened to the night.
Your prescient thoughts have stopped the sound of feet –
feet that have borne the rife and strife of life.
You’ve opened your eyes and seen the lies there
and cared not for what was, but what will be.

I too am acquainted with the night.
I too drop my eyes unwilling to see
the residue of sadness that is me.
I cry my tears in darkness of the stars
that illuminate their pathways with light.

We met – just strangers in a darkened sky.
We’ll part – my sadness residing once more,
but not for you – that luminary clock
will shine your radiance in her laughter,
and the world will be a brighter place.


Scheme AXAXA XXXXA BXXXC BCCXB XXXXX
Poetic Form Tetractys  (20%)
Metre 1111111001 1110101011 1111010101 1111111111 1110010001 111110110 1111010101 1111011011 1101010101 11111011101 1111010101 11001110111 1111010111 1101101011 0111111111 111010101 1111101011 010110111 1111010101 101001111 1111000101 1111001011 111111001 1111000010 001110101
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,128
Words 230
Sentences 14
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Lines Amount 25
Letters per line (avg) 35
Words per line (avg) 8
Letters per stanza (avg) 173
Words per stanza (avg) 42

About this poem

When my friend left, I was left empty. She and I were alike - we just played on different teams. We both had difficult episodes in our lives, but in coming together to share a glass of wine, we brought an understanding and comfort to each of us.

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Submitted by susannaelliott on April 23, 2024

1:09 min read
2

Susanna Elliott-Newth

Susanna is a teacher, living near the coastal fringes of the Illawarra Coastline in NSW, Australia. Her environment is her stimulus for her writing. She has published four books of short stories, as well as her own memoir book, and writes educational resources for teachers. more…

All Susanna Elliott-Newth poems | Susanna Elliott-Newth Books

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