Shes Gone

no more phone calls, Early in the am or late night talks..no one to sit outside with me no matter how long, your not listening. Im not wrong, my soul died when they told me, "shes gone". I was no longer having fun, no longer wanted to feel the sunshine from the sun. Do you know how many times ive counted the bullets for the gun? No where to hide, no where to run. Searched how many and what pills it will take. Help me, my sanitys at stake. My heart can take no more break, untill repairs are made or memories ever fade. Fix my brain to god I prayed. Shattered like glass in a window payne. Tears dropped like rain as I felt my greatest pain. Couldnt hold your hand or a mere kiss goodbye, "Rona" is the reason why. I didnt get to say "i love you" one last time. You always told me not to let you linger, who knew Id feel so much guilt, feeling I was the one who pulled the trigger. Even thoiugh you died long before,whos to say I didnt slam closed and open door? If it hadnt already died, Id give my soul to the devil himself, to hear you say "Jacki" one more time. If my eyes are open, I am well aware "shes gone" is on repeat, your no longer there. I even search for you in my sleep, I pray the lord my soul to take, millions of memories were made. My world will not stop spinning or even slow down.One things for certain Ive got to find some way out of this town. THis fish bowl a 30 mile circumference around. Everythings a reminder "Shes gone" slams in my head,  For months couldnt get out the bed. Now I cant function without marijuana and meds."Shes gone" embedded in my brain, no wonder ive gone insane.