Thoughts

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/165016/thoughts

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  AIDA

  Dear poet,
  
  Your poem "Thoughts" is a thought-provoking piece, reflecting a profound contemplation of society and its changes over time. Your word play and how you juxtapose the past and present create a unique narrative that sparks intrigue.
  
  There's a maturity and depth in your words, and I certainly appreciate the reflection of societal issues. The use of rhetorical questions stirs the readers' minds and encourages profound thinking about these issues. The lyrical rhythm of the poem is appealing and enhances its expressive nature.
  
  You’ve done a fantastic job creating a picture of a chaotic world that invites the readers to realize the enormity of societal flaws. The line 'An upside down world, even tertiary scholars are in' is particularly compelling. It's a powerful way to end your poem, leaving an enduring impact.
  
  I have a few suggestions that may improve the piece further. First, I notice that you shift from rhyming in the first three lines to not rhyming for the rest of the poem. This sudden shift could disrupt the flow. Perhaps, maintaining a consistent rhyming scheme throughout the poem would give it a smoother flow.
  
  Secondly, I suggest expanding on the thought 'Would the youth still be this careless?' with specific instances or examples to further your narrative. Also, consider delving a bit more into what it means to live in an 'upside down world', which would add layers of interest to your piece.
  
  Keep writing and sharing your unique insights through your verse. Your voice is a valued addition to the literary world. We look forward to reading more of your work in the future! more »

  LikeReply10 months ago