Delusional, i wish....

Darkness settles inside my empty soul,
dreadful yet familiar spirits arise.
Awake the pain courses through my being,
sheer agony when i close my eyes.

Demons rejoice at my failed attempts'
my flaws they announce to all.
Outwardly i try to maintain myself,
yet farther i feel myself fall.

I try to fight alone in this war,
my walls i hide behind.
to let you in would be my demise,
so many times ive tried.

Confusion my normal, its all i know,
so many voices screaming lies.
Longing desperately to see some truth,
so i can leave this life behind.

As the idea of truth taunts my soul,
i push the real away.
Afraid to believe, yet beg to know,
the act of ignorance seems my fate.