Analysis of Pain

I need to feel the pain
so I know that I'm alive
I don't fear the emptiness
the depths of a desolate cry
to hold onto a painful past
the deeply embedded scars
forever will they last
I don't fear death
I instead embrace it's welcoming relief
to lie alone in a coffin
forever shall I rest in peace
I wish for this pain to end
but yet, I need it here
I keep the pain close by
like a friend you'd hold so dear
I know not anything
except the pain
a corrupted mind rotting from hurt
I slowly and indefinitely go insane
I never glance about me
for the light that so many others seek
I instead fester in darkness
future getting bleek
so as I pen this rhyme
and glance back at what I was
I've slowly come to realize
that just wishing for love
wasn't enough
I had to release the pain
and send it on its way
but unfortunately that realization came too late
'cause I just died today
so they say hindsight is 20/20
and for me that proved to be true
for now I see that the pain I needed to release
was you.