Analysis of A tilted Bargain



She was not always, dull and gloomy, like this
Not a day went by when she slept or chose to miss.
The rising of the sun as light traced her every curve
Under the sheets, a curtain her lashes proudly serve.
Memorizing mesmerizing the way her body swayed
With regret, I wish, on her side I could have once laid.
Her eyes were misty on days when she would be late.
Mirth in her eyes, smile on her lips, a grace in her gait.
A miracle of nature coming to life from a child’s fable.
Pain was to be at an arm’s distance from her, till I was able.
Remorse turned in my chest, I gathered her in my arms
Her lifeless form felt heavy, my head was ringing with alarms.
Gone! Gone! She was gone! Ripped away from me, she was gone...
Taken away, my body sway, my mind in a disarray. I withered alone.
A part of me torn away like flesh. My blood burnt, skin turned into ash.
Her’s stopped, mine kept beating, the heart that I bared to her with every gash.
An empty shell of her once light weight body felt heavy against mine.
She was no longer here, she finally rid me of her and drew the line.
Passion so strong, a dazzling charm, she was a burning star,
A spirit so free, unshackled, a desire to sway and stray far.
She must be smiling looking down at my pathetic display of sorrow.
I have but one question. Can I offer myself, from this world, for her to borrow?


Scheme AABBCCDDEEFFGHIIJJKKLL
Poetic Form
Metre 1111101011 101111111111 01010111101001 1001010010101 100100010101 1011110111111 010101111111 1001110101001 0100110101110110 1111111101011110 0110111100011 010111011110101 1111110111111 1001110111000111001 01111011111111011 011110011111011001 11011011110110011 111101110011100101 101101001110101 01011010001011011 111101011101001110 111110111011111011
Closest metre Iambic octameter
Characters 1,359
Words 282
Sentences 23
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 22
Lines Amount 22
Letters per line (avg) 47
Words per line (avg) 12
Letters per stanza (avg) 1,035
Words per stanza (avg) 265

About this poem

It is a continuation of the poem "Her" and how the feeling of the loss intensifies as the time passes when we have always been taught that 'time is a great healer' but wounds leave scars and scars don't disappear no matter how much time passes.

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Written on March 24, 2023

Submitted by Mariyum on April 29, 2023

Modified by Mariyum on April 29, 2023

1:24 min read
39

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