Analysis of Success



I raced up the mountain looking for you
So many others were running up too
To be the first and to be the best
From childhood we train for this test

I went past many in my haste
Some seemed tired some seemed dazed
But reaching that summit was my solitary aim
My unerring shot at wealth and fame

As slopes grew steeper less climbers I saw
Many a fallen comrade on the mountain floor
But if I fall back I must take the blame
I thought I knew the rules of this game

Finally I did conquer the mountain peak
There your welcoming presence I seek
But the top was barren where no flowers bloom
And you were nowhere, just the misty gloom

So where else could I venture from there?
Need for that descending trek was clear
But there was no race and there was no rush
Time to absorb the tranquil stillness and hush

On the way I stopped by the fallen weak
I help them rise and then up the peak
And then I see you…in many a grateful tear
The sun had risen and the mist was clear

So did I ascend a higher peak?
Is this the journey that one must seek?
The focus now is on the path and not on "I"
Success, you were sighted - that is why!


Scheme AABB XXCC XXCC DDEE FGHH DDFG DDII
Poetic Form Quatrain  (43%)
Metre 1110101011 1101001011 110101101 1111111 11110011 1110111 110110111001 1111101 1111011011 10010110101 1111111101 111101111 10011100101 111001011 10111011101 010110101 111111011 111010111 1111101111 11010101001 1011110101 111101101 011110100101 0111000111 111010101 110101111 010111010111 011010111
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,127
Words 237
Sentences 4
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4
Lines Amount 28
Letters per line (avg) 32
Words per line (avg) 8
Letters per stanza (avg) 126
Words per stanza (avg) 32

About this poem

The poem questions the traditional way how we look at Success - which is based on the result or the destination. The poem suggests that the intention, the satisfaction, and the path taken are more significant than the ultimate result when evaluating success. A mountain climbing analogy has been used.

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Written on April 23, 2024

Submitted by jn.selvadurai on April 22, 2024

Modified by jn.selvadurai on May 12, 2024

1:11 min read
245

Niranjan Selvadurai

I am an Australian with Sri Lankan roots. Though I have had a life-long fascination for international poetry, I commenced writing poetry only about a decade ago. The sudden passing away of a dear childhood friend was the initial trigger. I find written expression involving rhyme, imagery, and symbolism a fulfilling experience. I write poetry both in English and in Sinhala. more…

All Niranjan Selvadurai poems | Niranjan Selvadurai Books

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