Analysis of Empty Empathy

Seems I can't measure up to anyone's expectations.
Sit quietly in my own personal pseudo-mortification.
A different size on the gauge, always on the wrong page.
A cerebral struggle to not rebel in rage. Feel isolated, in
a desolate disposition. I denounce all words of
defamation, and seek Him for praise and commendation.
While throughout all, just because I remain tranquil,
my future's thoughts DO NOT remain on idle.
Simply want to coexist freely and ecstatically.
Keep in mind that Only God Can Judge Me!Name
All confuse my ambiguous thoughts as problematic.
May sometimes behave bizarre and erratic.
It's libelous and diabolic, not semantics.
A constant ambush of interrogation,
a daily struggle trying to avoid a self-annihilation.
A soul on ice with apprehension for a lack of preservation.
Back to the rivers of belief I escape, for I need my space,
in my domain, sometimes feel out of place,
These rampant feelings will soon be gone without a trace,
for success is a marathon, not a race!