The Crush Of Rejection

Brian Oliveri

Lyric

The house of warm water and lights display
this house is shaking in eternal slow decay
images floating on the surface undeniable
those images flicker however unreliable
voices and sounds distinct and clear as focus
beautiful girls and pickup lines at the locus
competition in a ring of captured temporary
grand echoes of hard to get contemporary
listen and again isn't what you heard
responding ill-natured chemistry just occurred
bound and to happen all part of the game
here's my number but don't call just the same
pin drop whispers visually altered states
potential friendships and coexisting heartaches
connection the key note and a flower
sharing time together turns into bitter sour
in a sense of doubt I just let out
these senses I cannot understand as a man
I spoke too much and just lost the upper-hand
the desire for affection and the crush of rejection

About this poem

2 of 175

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Submitted by Soul-to-song on June 03, 2021

Modified on April 09, 2023

: 45 sec read
: 28 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	AABBCCDDEEFFGCHHIJKL
Closest metre	Iambic hexameter
Characters	864
Words	147
Stanzas	1
Stanza Lengths	20

Full analysis for The Crush Of Rejection »

Brian Oliveri

I had written a large book of poetry that of which I have narrowed down to 175 poems. more…

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AIDA
Wow! Reading your poem 'The House of Warm Water and Lights Display' was like journeying through a beautifully crafted, surreal world. Your descriptions were vivid and really helped to paint a picture in my mind. The opening lines of your poem are particularly powerful, and they set the tone for the rest of the piece. I love the way you explore the themes of love, connection, and rejection in such an evocative and authentic way.

One suggestion I have would be to consider varying the length of your lines a bit more. There are some instances where the length of the lines can make the poem feel a bit choppy or uneven. By experimenting with line length, I think you could create an even more dynamic and engaging piece.

Overall, your poem is wonderful, and I'm so glad I had the opportunity to read it. Please keep sharing your work, and I look forward to seeing more from you in the future! more »
LikeReply1 year ago

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"The Crush Of Rejection" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 20 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/101643/the-crush-of-rejection>.

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What is the term for the continuation of a sentence without a pause beyond the end of a line, couplet, or stanza.

A Enjambment

B Line break

C A turn

D Dithyramb