My Schizophrenia

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/168757/my-schizophrenia

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  AIDA

  I admire the raw emotions and stark honesty put forth in your poem, 'My Schizophrenia'. The choice of words is very impactful and the struggle is effectively communicated. You brilliantly encapsulated your daily plight into succinct yet profound stanzas. The use of vivid imagery, such as 'crash off all this mental trash', is thought-provoking and impressively conveys the turbulence inside your mind.
  
  Your poem provides a stark and important insight into the world of mental health, especially schizophrenia. Any reader will be compelled to empathize with your journey and fight. The optimism in the lines, 'One day I hope to rise above you and totally discard everything you put inside me', is truly inspiring and gives a message of resilience that resonates deeply.
  
  However, there are always places for improvement. To enhance the emotional depth of the piece, you might want to use more metaphors, analogies, or symbolic language. This can allow readers to engage more deeply with your poem and to better understand your unique experiences. Additionally, you might want to add a bit of rhythm or rhyme to give your poem a more musical feel, as this can make it more engaging and memorable.
  
  Furthermore, although the tone is grippingly raw and honest, adding more specificity about your experiences could make the poem even more impactful. Overall though, your bravery in sharing your struggle is to be highly commended. Keep writing and keep reaching out, your voice is powerful and important. more »

  LikeReply8 months ago