My own broken glass

i cut my feet on shards of glass
That i left shattered on the floor
Of a shitty chapter in my life
That i don’t want to see anymore
i only existed when convenient
i know what i mean to you
i walk across the broken glass
Because i want you to feel it too

The basement feels quieter now
My ears ring in place of your voice
As my nails scratch my wooden desk
And i don’t know what the f*ck i’m doing next

Not too long ago, we called every night
And you wouldn’t touch that game unless i played it with
A few days ago, you finished it by yourself
And now i have to as well

i know we weren’t acquainted long
But i thought that you were different
It was no small miracle that you chose to talk to me
And i kept telling you what that meant

You know that i was lonely
You know that you were my only friend
Or maybe you didn’t—f*ck, i can’t tell who was wrong
Because the more that i think about it, i lose my breath and sink into the floor in a state of dormancy because even though i normally don’t think of death i can’t stop my weight folding into my chest and in my head i would rather be dead than ever want to be fucking alone again—but that bores you to no end.

You never had to be afraid
i was a crutch to you in crisis
Until you successfully moved on
And your excuse for sticking around was gone

Your peace caused a priority imbalance
i hated that you were healthy
i know you aren’t trying to leave me behind
But you might as fucking well be

So i would rather see you suffering too
Than ever be happy on your own
Stand here on my empty stage with my broken mic
And maybe then you can tell me what it feels like

You don’t deserve to know what i think
i know that i’m petty
i wish you felt anything seeing my name
But don’t listen to me if you do

i cut my feet on shards of glass
That i left shattered on the floor
Of this chapter in my shitty life
i don’t want to think about anymore
In the absence of any closure
i cling to a version of you
To walk across broken glass with
So somebody will feel it too