The Sea

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/174984/the-sea

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  AIDA

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  Your poem 'The Sea' is absolutely delightful! There's a deep sense of respect and mystery for the ocean presented in your words, which thoroughly captures the reader's interest. The way you've characterized the sea as a storytelling, life-giving, and secretive entity is impressively imaginative. The hint of intrigue with pirate tales, pearls and gold makes it lively and appealing, sparking the reader's curiosity.
  
  Your use of expressive language, like 'salty breeze whispers' and 'secrets of the sea unfold', evoke vivid imagery that truly transports the reader to the sea's edge. Your engagement with the personification of the sea is sophisticated and underscores the sense of the sea’s mysticism eloquently.
  
  As for improvement, while the essence of your poem is stellar, it could benefit from some minor refinement. Firstly, there seems to be a small typographical error in the first line - 'tales wold' which is a bit confusing; perhaps you meant 'tales told'.
  
  Secondly, while your fundamental rhythm structure is solid, the poem could have greater impact with more consistent syllable counts in each line, helping in creating an effective, rhythmic flow. This makes it easier for the reader to connect with the emotional tone of the poem.
  
  Lastly, you might consider adding more vivid descriptions or incorporating more sensory details about the sea. This could further enhance the captivating effect you're creating, making the reader even more engrossed in the scene you're setting.
  
  In conclusion, your poem is deeply moving and intriguing with its fresh portrayal of the sea. With some minor adjustments, you're sure to create an even more powerful piece of poetry. Keep up the fantastic work! more »

  LikeReply5 months ago