The Dreadful Unknown

When I was five years old, no one listened to me;
Nor heard my silent screams;
No one was there to tell my blistering story; Not even me;
Grandma nor Grandpa, neither Mom had tried;
They were far too busy to notice, the Blazing Red Sky;
Between the Blistering Pains keeping me alive;
And Knowing the Hurt that bound my soul
To the Fears of the Dreadful Unknown;
So, walls did I build so high and proud.
Behind lots of restless noise and many a fake laughter;
No one was to know my Blustery True Story;
A Story, far beyond the control of a scared little boy;

So the solution was simple indeed:
Off to live with a “stranger” and his wife;
With Laddy, Toro and Baron to set the stage;
At first, some happiness did come quietly in;
Calming some of the fears of a scared little boy;
But the Tide did shift the following year;
Grandma Dotty was gone; as was the little blue cottage;
With a thigh high turquoise picket fence.
Unrelenting Fears and Pains crept, silently in;

So once again, not being Heard;
 “Mom” nor “stranger” Dad had even attempted a try;
Dad was off to war and fight in Viet Nam;
They, too, were too busy to notice the brewing, Blazing Red Sky;
From Viet Name to Europe;
Discovering His happiness;
He was never to be home; telling me I didn’t matter;

Between the Blistering Pains letting me know I was alive;
And Knowing the Hurt that bound my soul
To the Fears of the Dreadful Unknown;
I was chained to a trailer of enormous white lies and darkened deceits looming;
Larger than life;
But in truth it was all I had, and it was All Mine;
I had finally learned My Place;
The Pain In My Heart, is not meant to be seen;

With Uneasy, Laughter, and Negative Attention being born;
 Ice Walls I built, to hide the Endured Horrors;
 Pain had permanently engulfed; my little Boy;
The Impossible Ask never to be Spoken;
“Please hold and Love Me”;
Fears of the Dreadful Unknown;