She is me

Felling of Surrender? Feeling to give up...and fast! emotions I'm beckon to recall, yet Id rather leave them...far in the past!
Clown faces all around , I remain sad...apparently I'm supposed to get mad!
Crashing thunder , Pouring Rain
A river of tears slashing through my veins
Dangled by cords , cuts through my wrists,
the pain and memories linger in the mist , I just want them to stay gone ,as I ball up my fist.
She's weak ,I'm strong ,"You can Rebuild , stronger" has become my Lives song.
If I face her I may fall
I've worked to hard to let her take it all!
I've kept her quiet for all these years
to awaken her now would surely just shed tears.
There's no one left to determine the truth from the lies
Giving her breath is my demise
For Me her life has to end, for others she's summoned to come on....I've never missed her...she was already gone. Everything unfolds just as it should be , the universe always lets you see , I realize it now...she is me.