The Man in White

You,

I met you crisp, stylish and unforgotten. You had all the traits of a charming Prince (the ones we secretly all sought for). Without a tailored suit and polished leather shoes, you were built up of more than just a bundle of glittering objects that- once combined- could turn into gold. You were all the jewels in the world but even then, we did not want you.

You shone, forcibly. Did you want to be seen or understood? I could never understand what your endgame was, what your point was, whence you came from and where you would go once the place you so dearly claimed to love finally crumbled from its own self destruction. I could not understand how you chose us so many times without really seeing us.

We were vile, grossed, dirtied, blasphemous, sinful, delinquents whom you gave yourself up to in ways we would never try or attempt to for you. Yet, you let us grow. You allowed us to breathe, you watched us continue to destroy ourselves only for the seconds you would claim, when the pain of our choices wound our minds too deep and the only solace we could find were held in the golden depths of your heart. You let us touch your soul, then, and our fingers warmed from the heat of your love, and our eyes sparkled from the reflection of your jeweled being, and our hearts broke from the presence of you, and our minds were mended. We rose up, with words of promise (I'll be better this time), forgiven and loved once again. We rose anew, natural, reborn- born again- and then we walked out the gateways of your haven and did it all over again.

I met you a figure, a King and a God. And then you were just a man but a man unforgotten. Unable to erase, you managed still to confuse me. It became a game of should I stay or should I walk away? You held no power in your hands nor the interest in it. You neither wanted to change nor hope for it. Wasn't it a bold move? Were you proud of yourself? And then the questions seized, the promises seized, there was nothing I could say that would make me want you. There was nothing I could do that would make my lies true. I chased the stars in the hopes of finding you. They glowed the same, they sparkled, yet I felt no warmth for there was no love eminating from them, yet my eyes did not sparkle for their bodies did not reflect the beauty they represented, yet my heart did not break for their presence was not earth shattering, yet our broken minds could not be mended.

And then there was no light to chase. The darkness came such as the light once did, the darkness danced and attracted. The darkness had power, he held it in his hand, and he had the potential to change. He had interest in it. He moved beside me like a dark cloud, he lay beside me like a lover, he questioned and promised. What I promised him, I always kept and in return, a piece of my soul he kept with him. He asked for simple things, blindly I obliged. He did not want forever, he only cared for now. He did not want a why, he only cared for how. My broken mind had shattered, I was left blind to the light. I could not feel the pain, I could not feel the absence. My soul had already turned dark and I felt the cold like it was a fifth skin, and I moved in the darkness as though I could see, and I dwelled in valleys that brimmed with thorns that made us bleed, and I held my beating heart in my hand but had nowhere to take it, and I was alone. The darkness followed and led. The darkness cared. But he wasn't you.

You met me strange, mislead, but somehow at peace. There was nothing to see, nothing to grasp, but you saw me even before I thought I saw you. In the dark, my eyes had adjusted to the false light but I knew it was you the second I felt your warmth. My mind was not wounded, my sins had not overflown, my guilt had passed and gone. I stood vulnerable, my legs were bleeding, my body was scarred. I was consumed in the dirt of the valleys. I had no heart. I was alone. But I was no longer confused. You had come to rescue me, to save me from the darkness who no longer cared. You had come to take me back to where I belonged. I did not call your name, nor had I thought of asking for your guidance. Yet you arrived in all your glory, sparkling brighter than the stars, you touched my heart this time and I watched it beat. You cleansed me of the dirt and washed me white as snow. You placed me in your safe haven, arms as secure as a fortress, and let me dream. You gave me a new mind (I watched as the old one wore away). I stayed questioning, but I did not dare make any promises. I was nothing but you didn't care. For I was unforgotten.