my soul it bruised

my soul is bruised..
you scarred my mind forever
you scarred me so deeply
i dared to believe i was an error
unwanted and greedy
i was tainted by your hands

and your stupid commands
my body was never left bloody
however you words were deadly
i found every god damn excuse
cus i loved you so heavily

i don’t know how i’ve ended up where i am
if it was you to blame or just water under the dam
i’ve been sitting in this room for days
as the hurt continues to weigh while it feels like the good will always be delayed and i can’t seem to find a way through your mindless maze

why is it that i’m in so much pain?
does everyone else’s feel this way
or is there something in my brain that i can’t seem to maintain
will the hurt ever stop
or diminish even slightly
i have asked politely
i’ve pleaded and begged with a god who treated me so impolitely
who’s given me the cold shoulder
i’ve waited to get wiser  
i’ve waited to get older
but i am caught in a cypher
and i can not find my way out
help me please
it hasn’t gotten better.
i wish everyone would stop saying it would
even if it did i will still have scars the resemble the arguments between my heart and mind
even if it did i still wouldn’t recognize myself
miserable knows me better than my mother
miserable knows me better than my mother
miserable knows me better than i do
i’ve al away been running to the end of a tunnel o lyk to find the light of a star that had died lifetimes ago

so no, it doesn’t feel like it’ll get better
it feels heavier with every breath
i can hear my heartbeat echo off my bones through this body i’ve deserted

it hasn’t gotten better but please tell me it won’t get worse