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“I hate you! I hope you die!”
Before I turned to slam the door.
This was the last of many chances --
What I wouldn’t give for more.

Down the road my tires shrieked,
Barely averting both life and death
Your words still echoed inside my head
“Leave my house with your fucking meth!”

I was torn between an irony of fates --
Not knowing the power of voices,
Taunting my life from six feet under
Going blow for blow with my choices.

“Who are you to tell me what to do?”
Was my anthem of amphetamine rage.
I’d grind myself down to a huff of dust,
Too wasted to turn the page.  

My vengeance was driving erratically,
Speeding pissed down four-ninety-five.
I’d crash and burn for the sake of anger
Leaving your guilt to wish me alive.

When upon death’s door I teetered,
Stood memories of you who born me
The only truth who has never wavered --
When I hated myself, you adored me.
 
There is too much humility in hindsight --
Anguish burns the fires of regret.
Who could have seen your heart giving out
When it was me you wouldn’t forget.

I got the call you had passed away
The stress of it all was too much.
I left your life to revoke my own
But it was you who died as such.

I set out to take my own life that day
To spite my one and only mother
Lost without knowing either of us
Killing ourselves and each other.

I revoke myself as heart of your heart
In hindsight of knowing your cared.
I am sorry, dear mother, for killing you
Knowing how much you’ve despaired.

Please heed me now as I call out to you
Praying to heaven to be heard.
I‘ve loved you more than I've loved myself
I beg you to heed my last word.