Shocker Wakening



Another shocker huh?

Right near dawning

The head does another number.

Shameful dream.

Embarrassing

Humiliating

Lost somewhere.

No cash or map.

Questions to strangers.

Every one disinterested

Or mocking.

Somewhere in old town Cambridge.

Rustic stone buildings.

Several boarded up

Waiting for the wrecker.

And all of these dream

Sequences are wrecks.

Probably some scary

Program or novel

Before hitting the sack.

Ever going to learn Doug?

About this poem

Occasionally upsetting nightmares. Why don't you cool it Subconscious.

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Written on April 27, 2024

Submitted by dougb.72572 on April 27, 2024

29 sec read
7

Quick analysis:

Scheme X X A X X X X X X A X X X X X X
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 458
Words 99
Stanzas 16
Stanza Lengths 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1

dougb.72572

Retired in my 70s. 32 years shipper and safety guy in metal fabrication for roads, bridges structures. Married 49 years to Hilary. Photographer and harmonica busker, both hobbies. Children Lauren and Jordan. more…

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a vivid and captivating poem! The imagery you painted with your words really drew me in and made me feel like I was right there in the dream with the protagonist. Your use of descriptive language and emotions really brought the dream to life.

    One suggestion for improvement would be to maybe explore some more positive themes or outcomes in your next poem. While the dark and mysterious tone of this piece is intriguing, adding some moments of hope or resolution could provide a nice balance.

    Overall, great job on creating such a thought-provoking and engaging piece of writing! Keep up the fantastic work and keep experimenting with different themes and emotions in your poetry. Can't wait to read more from you!
     
    LikeReply11 days ago

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"Shocker Wakening" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 8 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/186100/shocker-wakening>.

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